Untitled Splats
CPTSD means the pains hurt a lot on some days - in ever fiber. And it's a lot of resting, compassion, and LETTING myself.
Reintegration
For some reason, we're taught to segment our Selves into boxes: work, home, friend, daughter, online, in-person, etc.
Bravery in weaving it all back together.
We were never meant to be split up to begin with...
Burn-Out
Whoof! The last two weeks have been a rough go. I’ve been pushing hard with my entrepreneur ideas and likely burnt myself out pretty hard.
Some old habits are hard to break. The hustle fire was the attitude that fueled my successes, and it’s deeply engrained in me to feverishly work with tunnel-vision to achieve my goals.
Grounders, Spinners, Dreamers
Some folks are grounded - connected to the Earth. Others are spinning around in their own heads. And us dreamers are floating around into space LOL
Behind the Fog
On Day 86 of daily meditation + painting, I started blending layers a bit more.
I painted the cloudy Depression layer, cut holes with exact-o knife…
Most Influential Books for My Career
“How did you become a VR artist?”
”Well, when I was 5 years old…..”
Umm! I mean, hello!!
There’s no way I would have known my path would lead me to be an internationally known and desired VR/AR artist! Most people in the world still have yet to put on a virtual reality headset, let alone fathom what an artist does in a face computer….
Re-emerging from a four year hermit hole
Hello, World! My, oh, my. Attending Art Center was no easy feat. Since I found out I got admitted to the college in early 2012, I made a conscious decision to cut out a lot of things in order to fully commit and focus on my intense new program.
A lot happened, and I ended up cutting out a lot of things I never anticipated to. I guess that's what happens when you go into a rigorous grad-esque program. But I'm grateful to say that I came out with a better idea of who I am, my intentions in life, and how I want to continue on with the rest of my life….
Understanding the Self-Critic
This last year, I've been diving in full-throttle in identity work and self betterment. This investigation has required a tremendous amount of deconstruction, reconstruction, and a deep sense of self awareness. Here are some findings. So, I'm a Tiger Daughter. I was raised with a perfectionist Tiger Mom who expected a lot of her kids, who really wanted us to take on a lot and be tough asses. And we did. Well, at least my brothers were fantastic at the hard sciences. I wasn't. I was good at.... err... drawing, and... watching people….
Night thoughts.
At the end of the day,You are the one left with yourself. You will see yourself, face to face.
Are you right with yourself? When all is said and done, when you put down all your armor, all your masks, all the roles you perform, Are you?….
The Self and Isolation
Some more quotes from Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse.
Siddhartha reflected deeply as he went on his way. He realized that he was no longer a youth; he was now a man. He realized that something had left him, like the old skin that a snake sheds. Something was no longer in him, something that had accompanied him right through his youth and was part of him; this was the desire to have teachers and to listen to their teachings....
A Greater Capacity for Feeling the Whole Gamut; Where Empathy Comes From.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Feeling Grateful
For closest of friends For not-so-closest of friends
For people who know just what to do
For friends that listen
For friends that need me to listen
For friends that call outta the blue….